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"Defusing" a situation

AuthorMessage
Survivor
May 14, 2015
46
Very often in team-oriented games, I see people who are just foaming at the mouths over their losses and being a general menace to everyone around them. Today, I want to discuss ways we can prevent or defuse such a situation.

First, let's discuss trash talking. I've heard people talking about this tradition of insulting your enemies in order to get ahead of the game, saying how it's just part of the online gaming experience. It isn't, nor is it good play.

I've heard people defend it by saying it's legitimate, because the rules don't exclude it. That is the argument of cowards and trolls. Learn to play better if you have to rely on throwing out insulting slang at people in order to get ahead.

Now let's talk about throwing blame around. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are, we've all thrown blame around for one reason or another. And there's a pretty good reason for that.

Whenever you play any online game, you have to invest some of yourself into the game. Have you ever found yourself just furious over your latest loss, and enraged at this thing you usually play to relax? It's because of that investment. It's the same reason we have a much easier time logging out of the game after a winning streak over a losing one.

Of course, this investment is awesome. It's what makes Wizard101 so great and magical to us, but it does also have a downside.

It means a part of us often doesn't want to accept when we're at fault; When it's our lack of skill that's causing us to lose. And this usually isn't a conscious thing we pick up on right away, but a sub-conscious one.

You'll notice, if you played really well, but still ended up losing, you can at least say to yourself: "Welp, at least I did great."

But if you played poorly, and took everyone down with you, it's very tempting to look for something apart from yourself to blame.

Unfortunately, to often in team games, we end up blaming our teammates, which is the worst possible thing you could do. You end up getting into one of those ugly shouting matches where nobody wins, and everyone just leaves miserable and frustrated. That kind of ruins everyone's day.

If you ever find yourself falling into that trap, just take a step back and remember: It's only a game.

Of course, monitoring our own conduct in Wizard101 is one thing, but what do you do when someone else starts lashing out? There usually aren't a lot of options apart from leaving or blocking.

it's tempting to call them out for being the bad player, but trust me, there's nothing but misery down that road.

Instead, you can attempt to DEFUSE the situation. Blame something in Wizard101 instead! Like "Ah, come on man. Those dispels are just flat-out cheap." Or: "Hey, no biggie, Krampus is just completely OP with his cheats."

That kind of response gives everyone an out, and doesn't back anyone into a corner.

Sometimes a little bit of empathy, team-oriented phrasing, or blaming something in the game itself is all it takes to get people back in the game.

Astrologist
Mar 16, 2012
1061
Very well written, showing great empathy. I'm replying to bring this post forward & in the hope others will read this.

Astrologist
Aug 23, 2016
1059
Would that all trash talkers and blamers read this post.

Very well written. Very well thought out.

Steven Ghoststalker
85

Armiger
Jan 18, 2010
2280
"Of course, this investment is awesome. It's what makes Wizard101 so great and magical to us, but it does also have a downside". - I like the pun here :P

Sportsmanship doesn't only help to build your experiences in online gaming, but it also helps to build you as a character.


You highlighted some key points here which I think most of us should remind ourselves about. And for that, I thank you.


Astrologist
Feb 28, 2014
1113
WOW! Very, very well said, Scot S. Two thumbs up from me.